Sunday, December 30, 2007

Playoffs, Baby!


The Redskins beat the Cowgirls 27-6. I don't wanna hear how the cowboys starters didn't play, they played for almost 3 full quarters.. and all Dallas could get on the ground was ONE RUSH YARD. That's right ONE.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Bill Belichick = Anne Ramsey?

Is it just me or does Patriots head coach Bill Belichick look like Mama Fratelli from The Goonies?

It's just uncanny.

And as much as it pains me to say this... Go Giants.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

12 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Tonight

"Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill." --FOXNEWS

Did a flock of monkeys just fly over a rainbow?! Sometimes I love Foxnews.

read more | digg story

Friday, December 14, 2007

Let's predict Iowa!

Oliver Willis inspired this post, and I have to agree with him on the democrats with John Edwards winning the caucus and Barack Obama coming up behind with Hilary trailing afterwards.


I see Mitt Romney winning for the republicans with Ron Paul a close second, followed by Giuliani and Huckabee in a dead heat for third.

While Ron Paul will not win in Iowa, he will boast a high standing, which should keep him relevant for the states which don't go to the polls until March or later.

I would love to see Ron Paul win the nomination. If it comes to an Edwards vs Paul showdown, I wil be extremely torn. They both do stuff I love and they both do stuff I hate, so it's just a matter of determining which of those things are important enough to get my vote.

Kristen Bell

kristen bell

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hershey to Redesign Pacs to Look Less Like Cocaine

From the what-were-they-thinking department, Hershey made a candy that looks just like cocaine. Plus you can even carry it around with something that looks like a crack bag!

read more | digg story

Saturday, December 8, 2007

"Don't tase me, bro" available as ringback tone from Verizon

If you thought "Don't tase me, bro" was the funniest thing you've ever seen, and you're a Verizon Wireless customer, you're in luck! You can purchase "Don't Tase Me Bro!" as your ringback tone.

read more | digg story

Germany moves to ban Scientology

I think this is a good idea. It's not really a religion, it's a scam. I wish the US would ban it.

read more | digg story

I woke up today from sleep

Yeah, so today I woke up from sleep. Took a piss, and showered. I then got dressed and ate some toast.

I love it when the day starts out interesting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angry Thai Women Lead the World in Penis Slashings

If you can think of anything else to say, then say it.

read more | digg story

Friday, December 7, 2007

Housing/Dollar/Stocks are All Crashing, Who's to Blame?

This is why I love renting. That and not having to mow the lawn.

read more | digg story

Sorceress Jailed After Using Eggs and Underpants

A 69 year old woman has been jailed for 20 days for using eggs and underpants in an attempt to break a man from a lethal curse. I think the real crime is not that an old woman is in jail or that a man may or may not still be cursed but that he had to part with a pair of underwear and how many eggs did he have to get? If it was a carton, that's like $6 right there. Then there's the urine sample, but who cares about that, he had to pay her and buy the eggs. I hope she fucking fries.

read more | digg story

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Scientists: Ancient Kangaroos didn't Hop

That's right, it's all about the news that matters tonight on Bozzy's World.

read more | digg story

Something's Wrong With Lily...

It all started not so innocently the other day. She was walking along and suddenly something came running towards her. She hopped around and freaked out and told Liz to hit it with her car so that nobody could determine what it was... but Liz was speeding at the time and road raging one of the Ravens and only hit it with one tire so we were able to get a description.

What did it look like? Well she described it as having little devilish beady eyes and four tiny paws with claws as sharp as and looked similar to, razor blades. The Gillette Razor kind. You know, the best a man can get? Or was it the Mach3. Wait, that's the same one. Okay, where was I? Ah yes, tiny paws and four beady eyes as sharp as a Mach3, the best a man can get. You know what I mean.

After she described the eyes and the Mach3 paws, we all were stumped, but then she yelled at us and told us that she wasn't finished talking and that we shouldn't interrupt her all the time. So we let her finish. And she said she also saw a big furry bushy... something... but we interrupted her again to tell her something funny that happened at work, and then asked her what we were doing that night. She got mad and slammed the door in my finger. Usually my face, but this time, and unfortunately for me, my finger. Liz is okay, btw.

And that's where I'm at now. Well, now I'm at work, but yeah, finger, Owie. Door, bad.

Police Chase Down a Doughnut Truck (no taser involved)

Why oh why would police want to catch a doughnut truck? Was the driver a murderer or something? I have no idea...

This is too ironic to be funny. Sorry.

read more | digg story

Corporations are now so powerful they threaten democracy

It's true, I read it on the Internets.

read more | digg story

Vibrators for children

Will somebody please STOP thinking of the children! Don't make me call the police.

read more | digg story

End Women's Suffrage

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Friday, November 30, 2007

Sean Taylor's murderer confesses

FORT MYERS: Sources tell us that four people have been detained in Lee County in connection with the murder of NFL star Sean Taylor and authorities are searching for a fifth.

read more | digg story

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Verizon Opens Up

Verizon has decided to open it's network to any device. Hey, wait a minute. The phone still has to be approved... Which could take a few weeks.

It's not the kind of announcement you'd expect from Verizon Wireless. But the notoriously protective carrier known for crippling many of the devices running on its network, as well as suing the FCC over the open access stipulations attached to the 700 MHz auction, did a complete about face on Tuesday. In doing so, the U.S.'s second largest carrier now says it will allow anyone with a compatible phone to access its network. Do you want to know more?

But yeah, any device. Awesome.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Washington Redskins Free Safety Sean Taylor Dies After Gunshot Wound

This is the saddest day to be a Redskins fan or even a football fan in general. Sean Taylor passed away at 5:30 this morning from a gunshot wound he took yesterday.

Some people wanted to steal his belongings and broke into his house. Why do people always want to take what others have? Earn it your self. Now there is a little girl without a father. That's the real tragedy.

read more | digg story

Monday, November 26, 2007

Let's talk about the tasing again

This is a chat among several police officers talking about how tasing is good and why they don't always need to read people their Miranda rights!

read more | digg story

Redskins' Sean Taylor shot at Miami-Dade home

Man, this sucks. I hope he's gonna be alright. Sean Taylor was already still recovering from a knee injury. Looks like he is out for the season now.

read more | digg story

Saturday, November 24, 2007

I gotta hand it to this guy...

A Kershaw County man is sharing his story of survival. He faced a life or death decision when his hand got stuck in a piece of farm equipment, and then a fire broke out around him. What he did next might shock you, and we have to warn you that some of the details might be disturbing.

read more | digg story

Stop Dressing Your Daughter Like a Prostitute

Working in a mall, and specifically right outside of a Victoria's Secret, I have seen many pre-pubescent girls walk into that store and come out with loads of inappropriate clothing for girls there age. I know VS sells more than thongs, but even their t-shirts aren't appropriate for a ten year old.

read more | digg story

Rudy Giuliani in drag

He may have to consider this as a viable option if he has to run against Hillary.

read more | digg story

Friday, November 23, 2007

Dennis Kucinich makes Early Show host sound like an idiot

As she continually attempts to turn the interview into Entertainment Tonight, Dennis stays focused and talks like someone who actually gives a damn.

read more | digg story

15-year-old girl jailed with 20 men for a month, raped repeatedly.

A 15-YEAR-old girl robbery suspect was put in a jail cell with more than 20 men, and for a month was raped relentlessly and forced to have sex for food, human rights groups say.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Another taser incident.

UHP (Utah Highway Patrol) tasers man in front of pregnant wife and baby over an alleged speeding ticket. And it's on video. Ooooh yeah.

read more | digg story

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ball Dribbling Record – 5 Balls at Once!

I've never even imagined five balls at once...

read more | digg story

New York firefighters to oppose Giuliani

A group of American firefighters opposed to Rudy Giuliani, the Republican front-runner in the 2008 presidential race, are planning to run damaging adverts expressing scepticism about his 9/11 leadership.

read more | digg story

Translating Cats

US Now Arrests Photographers Without Charge!

NEW YORK - The U.S. military plans to seek a criminal case in an Iraqi court against an award-winning Associated Press photographer but is refusing to disclose what evidence or accusations would be presented.

read more | digg story

Monday, November 19, 2007

Another Tazer Death Today.

Yes, another.

"A 20-year-old man died this morning after a sheriff's deputy used a taser on him to break up a fight, the Frederick County Sheriff's Office reports.
The man was identified as Jarrel Gray of Ladd Circle by his mother, Tanya Thomas, who spoke to a News-Post reporter."

read more | digg story

Americans Are All Suspects Now

The administration's demand that Congress shield the telecommunications industry from lawsuits for aiding in the systematic warrantless wiretapping of Americans has far less to do with protecting national security than its own exposed flanks.

read more | digg story

Think Recycling Computers Is A Good Thing? Think Again.

Most people think they're helping the earth when they recycle their old computers, televisions and cell phones. But chances are they're contributing to a global trade in electronic trash that endangers workers and pollutes the environment overseas

read more | digg story

Broadband speeds days numbered?

I smell bullshit.

"NEW YORK - Enjoy your speedy broadband Web access while you can.

The Web will start to seem pokey as early as 2010, as use of interactive and video-intensive services overwhelms local cable, phone and wireless Internet providers, a study by business technology analysts Nemertes Research has found."

read more | digg story

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Lindsay Lohan is a whore

Check this shit out: She's sentenced to a day for DRUNK DRIVING, not once, but TWICE... and if that's not an insult enough, served only 84 minutes. Slut.

Cows Flee After Seeing McDonald's

WEST HAVEN, Utah - McDonald's? The burger joint? Stampede! Eight cows escaped from a trailer when the rear gate opened as the driver pulled into a McDonald's. It took about two hours to round them up Monday.

"Maybe they were going to ... hop in the freezer, save the middleman," Weber County sheriff's Sgt. Dave Creager said.

Lt. Kevin Burns had another theory: "They didn't like their future."

The roundup was called "Operation Hamburger Helper." A nearby resident even hopped on his horse.

"I thought my eyes were lying," said Wayne Sanders, who was at a truck stop next door. "I don't know where they came from, but I'd say they'd have to weigh 800 pounds apiece and they were on a pretty good trot."

read more | digg story

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Safeway Select: A Tale of Mold

Mmm... Safeway brand fig newtons...


So my friend went to the local Safeway on 11/5/07 to buy some snacks...


It was a good deal. They were only $2.50.


She gets home. Eats one. Then looks at them more carefully. You too should look at them carefully.


She takes a closer a look at the expiration date, and scared the cat.


Yes, it does actually say 12/27/06. Safeway actually kept an item on the shelves almost ONE YEAR after the "best by" date, which is actually the date that it should be eaten, not sold. Those Fig Newtons most likely had been on the shelves since July 2006.

Anybody want to go to Safeway?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Bob Barker's SportsCenter Audition!

Bob Barker talks about his life. Don't get too close, man.... he's the greatest!

read more | digg story

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

"My World" by 7 Days Torn

Back in the first quarter of this year, their singer and songwriter left them. That usually spells trouble for a band, but they regrouped and with fierce determination, they have come back... strong. Go to their myspace and listen to "My World"


Saturday, September 29, 2007

Mark Ecko is an idiot.

I've never played baseball professionally but I'm going to start taking steroids and try out for the Orioles next season. I'll get on the roster and I will lead the league in home runs, all thanks to steroids. In 5 years the record is MINE***!!!!

See how stupid that sounds? You need more than steroids.

Mark Ecko is an idiot who wasted 750,000 dollars on a baseball.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Female Ninjas Rob Gas Station

I'm telling the truth! This was on a Pittsburgh news channel!! I swear!!!

"They were all covered in black and carrying swords, so it did appear that they were dressed like ninjas," said Chief Robert Amman of the Northern Regional Police Department. "Swords, daggers could be used to seriously harm victims, so this is a very serious crime." [Story]

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Don't tase me, Bro!

The kid did nothing wrong except ask Sen. Kerry a daring question. The police had no right to arrest him let alone shock him with a TASER. (AP)

Sunday, September 16, 2007


I have inside information that the iPhone 2 is coming out on 10/31/07. So don't buy the iPhone til the second version comes out!!!!!

Raffi's Punk Band


More comics here.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Open Water 2: Adrift

The people in this movie make the stupidest decisions a human fucking being could ever make. Want to know what happens when everybody on a yacht dives off to go swimming and nobody remembers to put the ladder down?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Survey: Majority of Americans Agree with Dennis Kucinich

"In the political equivalent of a “blind taste test” taken by more than 67,000 participants, an independent website surveying public attitudes on various issues is reporting that Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich is the first choice of 53% of respondents. Those taking the survey vote only on the issues, not the candidates themselves."


read more | digg story

Sunday, August 19, 2007


Only Six Issues

According to CNN, there are only six issues that people care about in regards to the election in 2008.

Just six. That's all.

Crap News Network at it's best.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Friday, August 17, 2007

The iPhone Killer

iphone killer The iPhone can do a lot, many people say, but the fact remains, the only capability that matters is that nice little way of snapping a picture and txt messaging it to your friends. Oh yes, picture messaging. That's where the Audiovox 9200 comes in. It's small and compact, and the best part of all, FREE. That's right it won't cost you a dime. Why pay $500 to $600 for the capability of NOT picture messaging, when you can spend ZERO MONEY and picture message ALL YOU WANT, but best of all, it's available only on Verizon Wireless: America's Most Reliable Wireless Network!

Ladies and gentleman, the Audiovox 9200 is the latest iPhone killer.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

756! Bonds did it!

Watch his full at bat.

And to those who insist on placing an asterisk by his name, it takes more than power and strength to hit home runs. To say that 756 home runs is nothing is an insult not only to Bonds but to the game of baseball.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Letter of the Day

Since people's attention spans are too short for quotes, will we just do a "letter of the day", so today's letter is A. It's the first letter, so it's easy to remember. Use it in a word and you could spell Apples, Alligators, and Aeropostle.

Tomorrow's letter will be B.

Wednesday's letter will be C.

See the pattern? Wait, patterns are next week.

755. Seven Fifty Five.

He's tied it. Quit bitching. Records are meant to broken.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Road House 2

His son also hates guys that used to fuck guys like him in prison...

Saturday, July 28, 2007


It had to come to this. Somebody called me, left a gibberish voicemail, then left an ignorant as hell text message. Their number is 443-844-1421... they really need to stop being a fucking coward and just answer the phone. I've tried calling them. I've tried texting them. They won't respond. So the only way I possibly finding out who called me is by posting the number in a public place. Yeah, I'm an asshole. :)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

That's why they went bankrupt!!


Let this be a lesson to all those interested in starting up a mobile phone company: If you make bill paying too hard for your customers, they won't pay their bill!

But how dumb does one have to be to not understand the method of bill payment?

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Ampd Mobile to Shut Down on July 24 at 12:01am

Sweet. I hope I get many sales from former Amp'd customers. I'm smiling ear to ear, baby.

read more | digg story

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Screamin' Beans

I don't care what you think, I like it when my food is personified.

read more | digg story

Sunday, July 15, 2007

BP to dump more toxins in Lake Michigan

Yep, that's right. BP is polluting the Great Lakes and they don't even care. Lets grab their CEO and sail him into the middle of Lake Michigan and shoot him in the head at point blank range. Fuck BP.

read more | digg story

Friday, July 13, 2007

Monday, July 9, 2007

The strangest car doors you'll ever see! [PICS + VIDEO]!

Nevermind those gullwing and suicide-style doors, this 1993 Lincoln Mark VIII concept car has the coolest doors you've ever seen -- and not only are they power, they disappear too!

read more | digg story

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Man Robs Bank Disguised As Tree

Man sees tree. Man sees bank. Man becomes tree. Man robs bank. Man can't run away because he's a tree.

read more | digg story

Friday, June 29, 2007

10 Reasons not to buy an iPhone right now.

Yeah. I'm going there.

Anyway, if you don't know, I work for Verizon Wireless, so this may be a bit biased. But I also own a Power Mac G5 and an iPod, so I freaking love Apple, and I consider Steve Jobs a deity of some sort. So why shouldn't you rush out to your nearest at&t store or Apple store and throw at least 500 bucks at the sales people (even though we like that)? Let's begin. I will start with 10 and work down, because Letterman is the shit.

10. It's not 3G. I don't want to hear the excuses of how at&t's HSDPA network isn't big enough yet. No brand spankin' new phone should be designed on old technology. It's a waste of resources (and your customer's money).

9. You need to have at&t service. This oxymoron online should keep people away.

8. No over-the-air music downloads. This really isn't that hard. Verizon did this with the LG Chocolate a year ago. You'd think this would be a high priority, to tie the cellular world with the iTunes world. I guess not.

7. It's new technology. Never buy the first edition of a new gadget.

6. You can't watch LIVE TV on the phone. Verizon has two phones that can do this. Ah, the joys of having a 3G Rev-A network...

5. The cheapest one is 500 bucks. And you only get a 4GB iPod. That would be great if I wanted to delete 3/4's of my music collection.

4. You can't buy insurance on the phone. That's right. No protection plans.

3. The battery is built-in, so you'll need to actually go to an Apple store to have it replaced or ship it back to Apple. As long as the battery is not your average cell phone battery, this shouldn't be a problem... but the chances of that happening are, well, let's just say there's a better chance of President Bush walking into my apartment, naked.

2. The screen is made of glass. Yes, real, breakable glass. Look back up at number 4 and you'll probably bash your head against the keyboard 45 million times.

and the number 1 reason not to rush out and buy the iPhone is...

1. There's probably a more productive way to spend your money -- i.e., hookers.

So til next time, keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Random Mobile Solution moment

Found this randomly on myspace... judging by the location of the user who posted it, it's probably from The Mobile Solution Arizona market... who cares... this dude is cheating on his girlfriend, and he works at.... THE MOBILE SOLUTION! Hahah phone

I moved into my new place.

I'll be on MTV cribs any day now. Til then, just look at this hilarious Google Ad I grabbed.


Wednesday, June 13, 2007


This post is about an arsenic story and what Jason thinks about it.

Lightning Strikes Good Luck Road

What determines whether luck is good or bad, who knows, but I would say a lightning strike is definitely bad. Unless you're a fire God of some sort. Then it's good.

PRINCE GEORGE'S COUNTY, Md. -- Lightning hit an apartment complex, sparking a fire in Prince George's County Wednesday afternoon, officials said.

The incident happened around 2 p.m. Wednesday in the 9700 block of Good Luck Road in Seabrook. More...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Poor Pluto


Is Kim Jong Ill?

Reports coming from diplomats in Pyongyang have Kim Jong-Il so debilitated that he can no longer walk 30 feet without assistance. He apparently needs heart surgery, which has kept him from making public appearances on his normal schedule.

read more | digg story

Saturday, June 9, 2007


If anybody wants to go kayaking near the small pond outside of Denny's, I won't be able to attend until 3am.


The Boz

Thursday, June 7, 2007

A message from Michael Moore.

Go! Send your videotapes!

T - one week

Yes, I really did use the phrase "T minus"... shut up. So yeah.. I move into my new place in one week. Can't wait. There's a freaking pool. It's awesome. No more having to deal with animals pissing and shitting everywhere in the house. Sorry Lily. It's filthy.

Only pirates can wear guyliner.

Yeah, seeing Spider Man covered in guyliner pretty much ruined the movie-- no, the whole trilogy for me.

read more | digg story

Is Beer the Key to Remarkable Blogging?

Yes. Sure. Why not?

Give me a beer.

read more | digg story

Not Fair - Ten Years In Prison For Consensual Oral Sex

Ten years in prison for receiving oral sex. That is Genarlow Wilson
’s sentence. When he was 17 years old and a high school senior, he received consensual oral sex from a 15-year-old, 10th-grade girl. Everyone agreed, including the prosecutor and the girl herself, that she initiated the act. And yet....



update: hold on a sec... she's probably going back to jail... somebody needs to make up their fucking mind.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

A polar bear fell on me.

While many view the 1989 Patrick Swayze-starrer as a laughable joke of an action film, Road House is in fact, secretly, a brilliant film. Don't agree? Read on, you skeptical son of a…

read more | digg story

Google Maps reveals crack on the streets

Bathroom humor. LOL!

read more | digg story

Friday, June 1, 2007

How to unlock your car with a cell phone

Those of you who lock your keys in your car need not worry about it any longer. Just as long as you don't lock the spare key in the car as well, you'll always have the ability of calling up home and having someone unlock your car by holding the spare up to their phone. Of course, for those that manage to lock both the master and the spare, you're still shit out of luck.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Microsoft Surface: Balls Deep in Originality.

Just what I need, a multi-touch screen table! I just think it would be cool if it could also fit in my pocket, play songs and videos, have a built in phone, and range in price from $499 to $599!

What original idea will Microsoft think of next!!!!

Playground Fun [PIC]

lol suggestive imagery

read more | digg story

Monday, May 28, 2007

Ban the Bulb!

Sometimes an idea seems almost too good to be true. But this one is not. If there was a worldwide shift from incandescent light bulbs to compact fluorescents, the drop in electricity use would permit us to close 270 coal-fired (500-megawatt) power plants that are contributing enormously to climate change.

read more | digg story

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Come to Baltimore, Rehab!

I'm demanding that Rehab come to Baltimore.

Help out this cause by demanding them too!

Let's demand Jim's Big Ego too while we're at it...

Snakes on a plane and bees in the engine!

A wild and crazy guy (no, not Steve Martin) tries to get over 700 snakes on a plane. Where's Sam Jackson when you need him?

And then, on a different plane, a swarm of bees clogs up one of the engines!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Bozzys from Around the World

I'm bored. I once posted about other Bozzys, but that was back in Web 1.0... this is Web 2.0 and you know what that means! YouTube! So I started searching YouTube for "Bozzy", because deep down I'm really vain... and my quest for competition is impetuous.

So the first one is some Bozzy dancing. Keep watching he gets better.

I lied, but this next one is a junior Bozzy who made a movie about himself. This kid seems to have a large number, I'd say 18 million, of videos up on YouTube.

This one is a dog named Bozzy. Cute.

Next up, Bozzy's feet. This is fucking Oscar material.

These are actually Bozzies. Sorry.

WTF. Seriously, what the fuck?

"Lax it up, Bozzy." Whatever the fuck that means.

and finally, while this video has really nothing do with a Bozzy (other than that it was posted by someone named Bozzy), I thought it was really, really cool. Okay, maybe not that cool.

So there you have it. Bozzy's from Around the World. Strange enough that you'd think it was another dimension.

Til next time, keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.

It's funny because I work there.

So I work in a mall. A fairly mismanaged mall. They used to have a customer service desk, you know, where customers go to get serviced and also buy mall gift cards and whatnot... Well they shut that down. Most malls have stores that go out of business, well we have those too, but our mall shuts down the customer fucking service desk... and then replaces it with...


A gum ball machine. Let me repeat myself. A FUCKING GUM BALL MACHINE.

That's right, mall management is basically treating it's shoppers like gerbials.

Now watch this live action Simpsons intro:

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Thursday, May 17, 2007

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: News IÂ’'d Like to F@#k

NILF hunter Samantha Bee gives us a steamy tour of the hotties that populate the 24-hour news channels. Is Fox the "Spice Channel" of news networks? [warning: may be NSFW]

read more | digg story

Top 10 Mike Tyson Moments

Found this on YouTube, it's hilarious. Watch it.

What a clown.

How Often Should You Have Sex?

"If you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years," Dr. Oz says. ----------

There's something incredibly unwholesome about getting sex advice from Oprah...

read more | digg story

Edward Norton is The Incredible Hulk!

Edward Norton has signed on to play Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk which is due in theaters in June 2008.

"Edward Norton is a rare talent and one of the most versatile actors in the business. His ability to transform into a particular role makes him the ideal choice to take on the character of Bruce Banner/The Hulk. Edward is perfectly suited to bring one of the most popular and important Marvel icons to the big screen in a new and exciting way." --Kevin Feige, President of Production, Marvel Studios.

The film unfolds with Bruce Banner on the run while racing to find a cure for his situation (his hulkness?) before his pursuers capture him.

Liv Tyler and Tim Roth have also signed on. Filming is scheduled to begin next month.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Bruce Willis Tells Hollywood To Shut Up

"I don't think my opinion means jack shit, because I'm an actor. "Why do actors think their opinions mean more because you act? You just caught a break as an actor. There are hundreds - thousands - of actors who are just as good as I am, and probably better. "Have you heard anything useful come out of an actor's mouth lately?"

read more | digg story

Simply Google

Everything Google has done, all on one page. I'm a dork.

read more | digg story

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Friday, May 11, 2007

Alltel sucks

They advertise everywhere, but I've entered in zip codes from all over the country and they always respond with:

"Sorry, we do not offer any service in ZIP code xxxxx"

From what I gather, it's only available in Florida. They need to work on this.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Mac Vs PC; South Park Style

Bush: “I’m the Commander Guy”

Because apparently, "in Chief" was too hard to say... How about we save him the trouble of even saying "Commander", and just have him say "I'm the Guy"? But then he might get confused as to why "Guy" is still capitalized and just might drop that word altogether and go around spouting "I'm the" and then pausing for a bit...

You know what, that would be cool.

read more | digg story

Oh crap, we have a video.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Digg is out of control

Some moron(s) found the hex code for HD-DVDs and now Digg is being overwhelmed (oops I meant "pwned") with traffic. Thanks assholes. Where am I supposed to get my news now? Fark?!

Somebody digg this.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

LG8700 is one good lookin' phone

I can't wait to start selling this baby, it's stainless steel and incredibly attractive. Slimmer and sleeker than the Motorola RAZR, and packs a 2.0 megapixel camera. This is one hot ass phone.

read more | digg story

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Verizon to Debut RIM Blackberry 8830 in May

That's right, Verizon Wireless has entered into the realm of the sim card.

read more | digg story

Woman gets $26,000 cell phone bill - Cingular Says "File Bankruptcy"

Cingular sucks.

read more | digg story

Edible Nutrition Facts Printed On Cookie

Forcing the issue here would be an understatement.

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Drunk Man Rides Horse Into Bank


Using the word 'drunk' almost goes without saying... if it were just 'Man Rides Horse Into Bank', everybody would just be really confused. We can't have that. He was drunk. Yes.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

When Alec Baldwin Attacks!

Alec Baldwin berates his own child, Ireland, who's only 11 years old.

"You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being," he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call.

"I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone."

Saturday, March 31, 2007

New job is going great

In case you didn't hear, I quit working for T-Mobile, March 17th was my last day. Since March 19th I've been working for Verizon, although on the 18th I did go to a training/meeting, so I really didn't have any day of unemployment. I'm awesome like that. So yeah, it's going great. I'm finding that what worked for selling T-Mobile doesn't quite work for Verizon, but I'm getting the hang of things real fast. Today I sold 4 phones and my store in Owings Mills was killing our two Columbia stores when I left work. They usually beat us during the week, but for whatever reason we usually out do them on Saturdays...

And I think I met a drug dealer today... I sold a Motorola Q, without service, for $629.99 (including tax) and the guy paid with all $10 dollar bills, 63 ten dollar bills to be exact. Who carries around that much cash?!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Top 10 Ways to Destroy Earth

Ever wanted to think about ways to destroy Earth? Me neither, but as it turns out, it's more humorous than I originally thought it would be.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of idiot. Which you fucking are!


I walked out of Wal-Mart

Hey, if you really want to make profits, quit building stores with 30 fucking checkout lines when you only use six at any one time. I hope the dog food I left on the unused conveyor belt is ruined or is eaten by a baby. Crackheads.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Pictures of Squirrels for Lily


A Good Salesman

I found this joke recently and it hits close to home, since my main goal at work is to sell a phone to people who come to the mall to most likely buy other things.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Steve Jobs' Favorite Sayings (Video)

A HUGE video compilation of GREAT Steve Jobs and his COOL favorite quotes. Mere mortals.

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Weird Couches You Never Knew Existed

And now, some pretty funky couches... Slow news day and the paint dried way too fast to report on it.

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Anti-Gay Protesters get asses handed to them

Yeah, here's a picture. Take a gather at it. Why did I say 'gather'?

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City of the future?!

Pictures of a once habited but now inhabited island.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Duke Nukem Forever

Yes, 3D Realms is supposedly still working on the next Duke Nukem. How can a game take over a decade to produce? It better be good when it comes out in 2020. I won't buy it for any more than 20,000 Yen.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Zod 2008

With the field for the 2008 presidential nominations already crowded with the likes of Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama, someone else, and your mom... General Zod has decided to form his own presidential exploratory committee.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sunday, January 21, 2007


So today winter finally appeared. And so did idiot drivers.

The gPod?

Google is working on an iPod for books.

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L’Oréal really wasn't worth it

This guy wanted to change his hair color, not the shape of his head.

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Wicked Cool

Check out awesome photo of a rainbow, sunset, and lightning all in one shot.

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Sprint Sucks

Sprint refuses to cancel the cellphone service of a reader's dead brother. The most they'll "bend" for reader M is to "put the account on vacation," at $5.95 a month.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Fucking, Austria!

I'm not yelling at Austria. I'm just enthused about a town there.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007


Where the fuck did winter go? 60 degrees at 9:30 PM in JANUARY?!?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Alligators aren't great pets

If you ever wondered if things go wrong at those alligator shows, the answer is yes.

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Fugitive Caught After Checking His Myspace Page

Let this be a lesson... if you are running from the law, sometimes it's best to forget about those social networking websites.

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Parking isn't that hard people

Guy takes up two spaces, and another guy trys to park his car one of them. I'm not sure who is more stupid, but the second guy at least left a note!

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Apple says Cisco lawsuit is "silly"

"The latest round in the iPhone v. iPhone dance-off comes from Apple spokesman Steve Dowling, who was quoted as saying the Cisco lawsuit is "silly" and that several companies are already using the term iPhone for VoIP products."

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If you do not upload the images again, I might have to contact my lawyer!

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Perfect place for a snack

A few lions decide to feast in the middle of a road...

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And I lied about not posting anymore today.

Ho Ho What?

I think I posted enough for today, but I will post one more and it's not mine:

Here's something my dad wrote.
(I meant to post this earlier, but I was busy with T-Mobile)

Ethan Albright Strikes Back

Nothing like a satirical battering of John Madden...

Brits got it wrong; Milk and Tea dont mix

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Drinking tea can reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke but only if milk is not added to the brew, German scientists said Tuesday.

Eww, who puts milk in tea?

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The Unedited Lynching.

Since you asked for it... okay, well you didn't, but I'm posting it anyway. Here's the video of Saddam's hanging.

Cisco Sues Apple Over iPhone

Interesting development from yesterday's announcement. But seriously now, when you put an "i" before any noun, you always associate that as an Apple thing. But Cisco did trademark the name and their product is currently on the market, whereas Apple's is not, so Apple may have to change the name.

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Man's wallet returned after 62 years

If only you could apply some sort of compound interest...

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Sunday, January 7, 2007

Funny Mall Memo

Mall management handed out this memo today to all employees, it was about 25 pages long, and on the 24th page was the following:

During and earthquake, keep calm, use common sense and follow the recommended guidelines. Stay clear of all skylights and stay out of the food court (emphasis by me). Get under a sturdy table, bench, or in a doorway or corner. The greatest hazards are from objects that are falling from outdoors. Stay inside! If you are outside, get into the open away from power lines. As soon as the quake is over, the Management Office will set in motion the necessary measures to secure the shopping center.

I love General Growth malls.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Holy crap, it's 2007.

And I'm four days late.

The mailman yelled at me this morning.

Yeah, she's a bitch... I mean, who cares if one of our cars is blocking our mailbox... get out of your car and deliver our mail, you fucking psycho.

I'm complaining. I'm really gonna do it this time.

Accidents at home...

Study shows that the majority of accidents occur at home. Everybody watch this, it's a good laugh.