Thursday, March 30, 2006

Monday, March 27, 2006

I Hate Manure!

So I took my Scion tC to the shop and got a rental car, a Chevy Colbalt. First time driving an American car. It's weird.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

That's pretty cool, and you can find out more facts about Chuck Norris.

Damn fucking cowardish assholes.

So I go to Players Club to play pool with Lily and Liz last night around 9pm and we come out an hour later and find that half of my rear bumper is smashed... and no fucking note. Fucking asshole hit & run. Yes, I filed a police report. Yes, I have uninsured motor vehicle coverage.

Whoever hit my car doesn't know how to fucking park and is most likely retarded. They're probably 35 and aren't educated past the fifth grade.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

LiveJournals suck.

The other reason why I switched from Movable Type to Wordpress* is because of those goons at Six Apart had to go and assimilate the crappity crap of crapola that is LiveJournal, which means they bought them out.

The only thing good about LiveJournal is that I can go to the movies just to get that delicious popcorn and then come home and be entertained for a few minutes which seem like hours because the snooze button on the LiveJournal time clock broke.

Then I move on to the next best thing: MySpace and wonder how in the hell 16 year old girls have 35 thousand friends. Look folks, if you have that many friends ON THE INTERNET then chances are, you have 0 friends that you can actually talk to face to face. It's just called logic: Spend an ass amount of time trying to get 35,000 people to add you on MySpace = Less time for you talk to real people face to face. Twirl on that for awhile.

To sum up LiveJournal, it is nothing but drama, and when it is not drama, it is nothing.

* The other reason I switched to Wordpress is because it's better, you dingleberry.

I can't drink Gatorade again, thanks.

Apparently, there is a giant conspiracy involving sports drinks...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

American Man

So Lily tells me that there is a magazine and they are looking for 25 year old males who have lived in Maryland for several years. I say cool and submit my info. It would be awesome to get something written about me in a magazine.

But you don't know the half of it. I tried searching for them on google.


Okay, so that really doesn't have anything to do with the magazine, but it's creepy as hell.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Tired as fuck.

Okay, so getting to sleep at about 2:45 in the AM when I knew I had to wake up at 5:45 in the AM was not that good. I was not in today. Yes, I tried not once, but twice, to use my the keyless entry device for my mom's car to open her front door. Go me. I was out like something that is out.

[being tired effects analogies in a negative manner]

Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy 92nd Sammy Baugh!

St. Patricks Day is also the birthday of the greatest Redskins player of all time, Sammy Baugh. Now 92 years old.

Reverse Racism is still Racism.

This text has been floating around MySpace and probably the entire Internet, I've seen it here and there, but I guess it's my turn to share it. There's some epithets, but there's actually a really good point behind it: reverse racism is still racism.

You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey", "Casper" and you think it's OK.

But if I call you nigger, towelhead, sand-nigger, camel jockey, beaner, wetback, saltwater nigger, gook, or chink it's not ok because you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.

If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.

If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.

If we had white history month, we'd be racists.

If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives, we'd be racists.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships, you know we'd be racists.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.


But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

Now watch, I'll be a racist for posting this.

Like I said, I have no idea who wrote that; it's floating around the Internet.

Nobody should be proud of their heritage.

Happy St. Patricks Day!


I will have a bottle of Midori by the end of the night. It's going to be a blast. And if I see you not wearing green or other Irish charms, you will get pinched, motherjumper.

I'm a little Irish anyway, but everybody is today, including all my Jew friends, so happy St. Patricks Day, Shalom!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Birds of a Feather Runnin' with the Wrong Flock

The other day I downloaded a few tracks off the All Mighty Senators' new album. I cannot get over how fucking awesome they are. If you know what's good for you, you'll listen to them. It's going to be a pre-requisite for reading this blog. There will be pop quizzes and a research paper.


Karma is a bitch. There is actually a reason for this post, but I will try not to gossip...

I'll say that I got a new keyboard, which should be obvious, but it has nothing to do with this post. This post is about karma. And a person. But mostly the karma. It's such a beautiful thing.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The Redskins needed some WRs.

And they got 'em.

Yesterday is was Brandon Lloyd of the 49ers, and today Antwaan Randel-El of the Steelers!

From last nights Wizards game:
Cooley and Campbell
From left to right: Chris Cooley, Adam Archuleta, Jason Campbell, and Antwaan Randel-El

update: march 13th
Redskins signed Christian Fauria and Adam Archuleta!

Thursday, March 9, 2006

7 Days Torn in Gaithersburg tomorrow night!

Olde Towne Firehouse Cue
317 East Diamond Avenue
Gaithersburg, MD 20877



Be there by 8PM.

So if you are under 21, just hit on the door guy to get in.

You could also say you're Anthony's long lost cousin, I hear that works.

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Word of the Day

Today's word is from the Baltimore City Paper (Vol 30, No 9), and it's from the 'Massage and Relaxation' section...


I can't use that in a sentence because it's not really a word, but it's in the City Paper as some escort's masseuse's name.

If you can use it in a sentence, then I'll give you another word to put in a sentence. I'll stump you yet!

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

I'm Sorry

I left another dent in space-time. I'm still trying to get the hang of WordPress. I don't know why they put something like that in the options. They really should change that, causing black holes is not WordPress is about!

MySpace is down.

I'm pretty sure my life is going to end if it is not brought back up. Sad face. Sad face.

Sad face.

Monday, March 6, 2006

28 Fucking Songs

May 9th. Mark your calendars.


I cannot fucking wait. I need a time machine.

Saturday, March 4, 2006

I'm 100% Certain Bricks Break Toilets

Because I broke a toilet with a brick. I'm also 100% certain that toilets break bricks, because... the brick broke as well.

Thursday, March 2, 2006

Most Sexually Suggestive Lines from Star Wars

I got this from John Thomasson's blog... I'm a somewhat big fan of Star Wars, but an even bigger fan of sexually suggestive lines, so I had to post this as well.

Most sexually suggestive lines in Star Wars
10. “Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care what you smell!”
9. “Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?”
8. “Put that thing away before you get us all killed.”
7. “You’ve got something jammed in here real good.”
6. “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”
5. “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.”
4. “Sorry about the mess…”
3. “Look at the size of that thing!”
2. “Curse my metal body, I wasn’t fast enough!”
1. “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”

The Empire Strikes Back
10. “I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.”
9. “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?”
8. “There’s an awful lot of moisture in here.”
7. “But now we must eat. Come, good food, come…”
6. “That’s okay, I’d like to keep it on manual control for a while.”
5. “Control, control! You must learn control!”
4. “Hurry up, golden-rod…”
3. “I must’ve hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?”
2. “Possible he came in through the south entrance.”
1. “And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!”

Return of the Jedi
10. “Hey, point that thing someplace else.”
9. “I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.”
8. “I never knew I had it in me.”
7. “There is good in him, I’ve felt it.”
6. “Grab me, Chewie. I’m slipping—hold on. Grab it, almost… you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me Chewie.”
5. “Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me—now I owe you one.”
4. “Back door, huh? Good idea!”
3. “She’s gonna blow!”
2. “I think you’ll fit in nicely.”
1. “Rise, my friend.”
And the best of them all…
“Wedge! Pull out! You’re not doing any good back there!”