Monday, May 30, 2005

My car wants my dvds to wear a seat belt

I just went out and bought some DVDs and also Mac OS X Tiger, and I of course put them on the passenger's seat. Stick with me here... the passenger seat belt light starts to blink. Apparently, they're heavy enough that they could pose as a small child or a midget! Best day of shopping ever.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

I'm selling my dignity to the lowest bidder

Who wants my dignity? Yes, I still have some to give away, and I am giving away all of it. To the lowest bidder. Do what you please with my dignity, for I no longer need it's assistance in life. So start the bidding war!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Erik Myers!

I subscribe to the mailing list for the Baltimore Improv and when I checked my email today, well one of the many times I checked it today, I saw that Erik Myers is performing there this Thursday thru Sunday (26-29th) and immediately I thought if this was the same Erik Myers who I knew from Oakland Mills Middle School. I think he is. The Erik Myers I knew was always hysterical so I am not at all surprised by him becoming a stand-up comedian.

So I plan to be there this weekend for one of his shows.

Here is an interview I found and I also found this.

update: very early on 5/30
Went to his Sunday show...fuckin hysterical!

One Sentence Movie Reviews

Not becaues I'm lazy... okay I'm lazy.

Monster in Law - Best J.LO movie ever.

Crash - Everybody has their good side as well as their bad sides.

House of Wax - Paris takes it in the head. You now, instead of taking head.

The Interpreter - I slept thru most of this.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Really funny, but ends to quickly.

Revenge of the Sith - A good ending.

Well, that's all we have til I go see another movie. Do not share your spaghetti, you may trip on an apple.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Is this thing still on?

I'm pretty dead to the world right now. Saturday night thru Sunday evening I was in Ohio. Had that urge for a random roadtrip, you know. Left with some friends at about 5pm on Saturday, got in the ghetto fantabulous Ohio motel room complete with flying ants by about 2am Sunday morning. Slept. Woke up, drove to some see friends, went to the air force museum, white castle, and left Ohio at about 7:45pm. I didn't get back til about 5am this morning. Didn't get to sleep until 9am. Slept until 2pm.

Yeah, that was short and to the point, but you have to understand, that I was dead at the time.

And you read it correctly, I went to WHITE CASTLE. Would it kill them to open up a place in Maryland? New Jersey is the closest... but New Jersey sucks monkey bladders.

In other events, I just got back from Fletcher's, saw Skitzo Calypso and 7 days torn. Fuckin awesome show.

RIP R. Edward Lopez. You are missed.

Well, I am about to fall aslee

Friday, May 20, 2005

Stupid Spam

Can somebody please tell me why I get spam for websites that don't exist? Maybe I'm stupid, but if what you're promoting doesn't exist, then what's the point of promoting it?

From: Zackary
Subject: intense actions

intense action to be seen

Leap, and the net will appear.

The net seems to not want to appear.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Wow, three years.

I just realized I've been actively blogging for three fucking years. That's almost important enough for you to put down your spaghetti. Seriously, put it the fuck down. Get away from those noodles.

No Smoking, and Soon No Drinking and No Talking

(with apologies to Eddie Izzard)

A DC Council member is proposing a ban on smoking in bars.

We'll just call Kathy Patterson the Fun Police right now and call it asinine.

Revenge of the Sith

Yup, I caught the midnight showing of Revenge of the Sith, and it's actually pretty damn good. The characters are developed more thoroughly and the action is very cool. Without giving much away, there's a 19-minute fight scene between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, which happens at the same time Yoda and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine are fighting. The dialogue is kinda lame at times, but that was the case in the original triology, as well as most action movies. I'd have to say that each of the prequels consistantly got better and better. Episode I sucked, Episode II was okay, and Revenge of the Sith clearly stands out as George Lucas' best directing job, when it comes to Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back is still my favorite, but Lucas did not direct that film.

Last night / This morning, all 14 screens at my local AMC theaters were playing the movie, and each one was packed. Yes that's a one day special event thing dumbass, but I have a feeling this movie will make $150 million over the 4-day weekend. Go see it.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


HFS'tival 2005 was a fucking blast. Intense heat. Pouring rain. Lightning. Sun Burns. Wow.

I got to see the following bands on the main stage: They Might be Giants, Interpol, New York Dolls (who's lead looks like Mick Jagger's father on crack), Social Distortion, Good Charlotte, BILLY IDOL, Coldplay, and Foo Fighters! I was on the field during They Might Be Giants and Billy Idol. I also caught Sum 41 and Pepper on the street stage and Victory Twin on the locals only stage.

It was fucking great. Before Victory Twin hit the local stage, Ladainian Tomlinson went on stage to make the crowd cheer for the Ravens, you heard a little bit of "Ravens rock!", but you could also hear "Redskins rock!" or "Ravens suck!", it was hilarious. Fucking purple birds.

Another funny thing about yesterday was that I was wearing a Back to the Future t-shirt (stick with me here)... now this shirt is not even the remote bit new, and nowhere near my best shirt, yet I had three people tell me they loved the shirt. Apparently my backup shirts are great too. Pad that ego.

I also ran into a dude I just met on MySpace, we went to all the same schools, only he went 10 years earlier. He was like, "Hey, you on MySpace? You who I messaged the other day?" And I'm like, "Yeah I think so, who are you?" And he added, "the undercover pimp", his name on MySpace. And that was that. I walked on.

Then when I was in the bleachers, I was looking around and who do I see not ten feet in front of me? Jackson (the redheaded one) from Grand Buffet, who who I saw awhile back at the Ottobar.

I'm so fucking burnt now, but it was worth it. I had no clue how I would take being in a stadium for 13 hours, well being around the stadium, and sometimes in it, but it was great. Billy Idol is fucking amazing. He's in such good shape for a 60 year old man too, lol. All the bands I named were fucking amazing.

Friday, May 13, 2005

I'm still alive and free.

I just realized I haven't updated since Wednesday morning, and given the aero events in DC on Wednesday, I need to say, IT WASN'T ME, and I'm still free. So keep enjoying your spaghetti.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

According to Jim

I finally watched this show. What an amazing show. James Belushi is hilarious!

This is of course what I would be saying if I liked the kind of humor that involves playing off of and sometimes downright copying your late brother's acts. I'm not totally knocking James here, he has done some funny movies, but in his show he is so trying to be John.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005



That's right, take 695 West to Bel Air Rd/Route 1 in Overlea, MD, take your first right, and turn into the shopping center, and you'll see physcians you'll never want to go to! Why? Because they're Overlea Personal!!!!!!11111!!eleven!

Random Roadtrips

Sunday night around 9ish I get a call from Jenna, she tells me she and Rob (Not her boyfriend) are driving up to New Jersey to visit some friends of hers. I'm like, "Cool. Have fun!", I go back to picking up Dana from work.

I get another call about 20 minutes later. Jenna drove the wrong way down I-95 (on the right side of the road, not that wrong way, ass) and was like, "495? Double you tee eff, mate?" So this call I get is as she is passing Routes 175 and 100 on 95, and she says, "Tell me how I wound up going south on 95 instead of North?" I didn't have an answer at that juncture. End of phone call.

At this time, Dana finally comes out of Target, where she works. I drive her home, and then go home myself. When I get a call from Jenna again. They're not going to New Jersey, she says. "James, we're not going to New Jersey." Where are they going? I asked afterwards. "New York", she replies. "@#@#@#@DWLKJS" I replied. New fucking York. When are you coming back? "Tomorrow morning", she says. Yes, she said tomorrow [Monday] morning. I said that's going to be a lot of driving. "That's going to be a lot of driving, Jenna." But she was like, "I know, it's cool." So they went to New York City, because apparently her Jersey friend wasn't in Jersey (what a surprise there), he was in New York City. So I'm like, "Cool. Have fun!" and I go to sleep thinking they'll be back tomorrow.

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Best Saturday Ever

And at the same time, I guess it could have been the worse Saturday and it all started on Friday night at about 10pm, when I drove up to see my friends (Jenna, Stacey, Ricky, Rob & Jen) in Pikesville. I got there at about 10:35, and one of them needed to use my car, well two (Jenna and Stacey) actually, and they didn't get back til about 4AM, and came in the apartment with the news that she (Jenna) just got sexally assualted at a local gas station and spent the hours of 12:30am to 3:00am at a Baltimore County sub station filing a criminal sexual assault charge. You wanna know more about the charge?
Well, when Jenna and Stacey were on their way back from Stacey's parents house picking up some more of her stuff and gas money, they stopped at an Exxon along Reisterstown Road at about 12:30 in the morning (when they said they would be back, and had this not happened they would have been back to the apartment in Pikesville on time) and proceeded to pump some gas. But the nozzle thing wasn't working. So this creepy Indian guy, about 50, who worked there came over to offer his penis assistance to my friends. He fixed the pump and they got gas, and commented on how pretty they looked and asked, "Is there anything else I can get for you two pretty ladies?" And Jenna jokingly said, "A free 20oz Mountain Dew" would be nice. And he said, "Go right ahead." So Jenna goes and gets herself a Mountain Dew, and the guy grabs her, sticks his hand up her vagina and she says, "What the fuck are you doing?" He says back, "You can't get something for nothing, sweetheart." At this point she tries to slap him but he pins her other arm. Luckily, a Baltimore County cop just pulled into the gas station and immediately ordered this pervert on the ground. Jenna and Stacey followed the cop to the station to press charges, and were there for three hours.

When they got back at nearly 4 in the morning, I was tired of watching movies all night (Dodgeball, Dogma, and some of Meet the Partents), and Jen, the person who pays rent in the apartment said it was all her fault because "she dresses like she does" and that "she was asking for it", which pissed all of us off, so we (Jenna, Rob, and I) went to the Denny's in Owings Mills (on Reisterstown Rd) from like 4:20 to 5:30 or something. Which is the appropriate time to be at a Denny's. Stacey and Ricky wanted to sleep and Jen just wanted to be a bitch (because she and the gas pervert seemed determined to make this the worst Saturday ever).

Then we wanted to play pool, but the only hall that would open before 6AM is Jack and Jills in Glen Burnie. So off to that we went. I'm glad we went, because I discovered I am best at pool when I am so tired that my hands shake and cannot keep the cue still. Somehow I manage to sink more balls, I'm not sure how that works.

We gave up pool at about 7, we decided to pick up Mike, who lives in Glen Burnie, and we wound up going to Ellicott City to look for an apartment (Since Jenna and Rob had a desire to move out of Jen's after what happened) and Columbia to buy a 6-pack of Tropicana orange juice from Giant.

Back to Pikesville it was to sleep a little. Jen was still bitchy, so Mike wanted to leave after only 20 minutes, so we got back in the car yet again and drove him back to Glen Burnie, and then went back to Pikesville to sleep, and when we got back, Jen wasn't there. We would have thanked the Lord accordingly but we all were so tired we just passed out after crossing through the threshold most people call a door. So I finally got to sleep at about 1:30 or 2 in the afternoon, and woke up at about 5 and hung out for a few hours before finally driving home.

I may move out there, because this shit is bananas.

Friday, May 6, 2005

Life Update post

I haven't had cheese today.

This Shit is Bananas

Yes, that's right, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A.

So I was at Dennys last night/this morning. I don't think this has anything to do with bananas, but it was too early to go to Dennys. It was only 12:30AM when Jenna and I got there. That's Double T time, Dennys Time doesn't start until 3AM.

I had a point to this post, but I lost it because Dana called me. Oh and Lily, I tried to call you last night, but you had your phone off. We would have just had another person at the wrong time to be at Dennys though.

Well, I'll return later and maybe I'll make sense then.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Punch Buggy Blue No Punch Back


I paid my taxes and all I got back was this shirt...and a measly $30.26.

And the award for most non-descriptive blog title goes to Bozzy.

My mom thought I needed new shoes.

She surprised me last night with a pair of new shoes, and I asked, "do these put gas in my car?" MOM!!! I know you care about my feet, but if it won't put gas in my car, don't buy it!!! It's not new shoes, it's gas money! Oy-vay. I love you anyway, Mom.

I have to go now, if I do not post again today, tell everybody I ate bad chicken and then pray for your lives.