Friday, December 31, 2004

Oliver has some choice words

Anytime someone rolls out the lame "Michael Moore sat in the VIP box at the Democratic convention" nonsense, please respond with this: "George W. Bush, the president of the United States, invited drug addict, torture supporter, misogynist, racist, and all-around societal pariah Rush Limbaugh into the White House of the United States of America and proceeded to embrace him, so f*ck off."

That's it, he's my favorite blogger.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

That's right, heffalumps. And they'll be happy heffalumps too.

[ 09:32 ] [~turkey] dating older women is too much for me -_-
[ 09:32 ] [~turkey] she works at disney world nowadays
[ 09:33 ] [@Bozzy] THATS IIT
[ 09:33 ] [@Bozzy] THEME PARKS
[ 09:33 ] [@Bozzy] Oh it'll be grand.
[ 09:33 ] [@Bozzy] We will ride heffalumps

I live too close for comfort to rednecks...

So yesterday I was out with Dana and Jen in the western (aka hick) end of Howard County, MD, I know, stay with me, I was there to pick up a friend (and also buy her tampons, but that's beside the point), and drive her back to Columbia (aka where us normies live).

I get to the gas station, which convienantly is also a High's and I go in to get the tampons, which was fun. I don't think it's that big a deal to buy feminine hygine products, but yeah, it does feel a little weird. ANYWAY, I go back outside and pull the car up to the pump and begin pumping. I know, that does sound hot.

At that moment, I saw something I swear I have never and probably would never even think I would ever see happen. I mean, this is just weird. And remember, we're in Woodbine, MD, in the western end of Howard County. What did I see?

I saw this kid, probably 16, chasing his girlfriend (I hope it wasn't his sister...) through the parking lot holding a DEAD SQUIRREL. YES, a _dead_ squirrel. But it doesn't end there. He was saying funny redneck shit too. He said (and I am paraphrasing, because I stupidly tried to block this from my mind), "Hey don't run! I just killed this today! It's not gonna bite ya!", and a bunch of other rednecky things rednecks say.

His girl ran in the High's and he sat outside the door panting, out of breath, still holding the squirrel. No, I think he set it down next to him. Yeah. Anyway, one of my friends yelled out, "Hey you have fun with that squirrel!" and he replied, "I will." Then we laughed uncontrollably at him.

That's it, that's your redneck story for the day. Don't ask me for another one, that's all you're getting.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Something to think about...


No, that is not my image.

And I was born in July...which means I was conceived in October...hmm, now Halloween is in October...this could explain a lot.

Dumb Maryland Laws

These are very amusing...

"Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere." Okaaaaaay
Baltimore City
"It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday." But within 1 week is the only time they'd be interested....c'mon!
"You may not curse inside the city limits." I think this one is really just them humouring themselves...
"You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish." The Columbia Association really has this law and enforces it.
"Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence." I know a few people here who have clotheslines. They look ghetto. Don't use them.
Ocean City
"A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk." They need to enforce this law. There's some ugly shirtless mofos at the beach. And no, I'm not one of them... ... I keep my shirt on. :p

motherfucker. I just did something I have never done before. I have repeated myself. Well, I think I was slightly funnier in this post, and the first was two and a half years ago, so who cares, right?

Mountain Dew Gives Me Green Diarrhea

Yes, Mountain Dew, gives me green diarrhea!

Do the Dew!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Washington Nationals: Not dead anymore!

The Washington Nationals secured a home yesterday when a divided D.C. Council narrowly approved legislation that allows baseball to return to the nation's capital after 33 years.

With a vote of 7 to 6, the council adopted a stadium package that contains several amendments to the original deal Mayor Anthony A. Williams struck with Major League Baseball in September. After three seasons at Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium, beginning in April, the former Montreal Expos are scheduled to move to a new ballpark along the Anacostia waterfront in 2008. More...

DC get's a team, they don't have to pay as much as MLB wanted, and MLB is satisified. Win, win, win. Except once the season starts, it'll be lose, lose, lose.

Monday, December 20, 2004

The Scion tC had a close call last night.

near miss.jpg
The scene began on Route 40, coming from Catonsville, heading towards Ellicott City. I was coming from VIP Billiards with Dana, if you live near here and know who Dana is.

Anyway, that section of RT 40 is up and down, lots of hills. Going down the last hill, where Rogers Avenue is at the bottom, this stupid driver in front of me braked too hard and too fast and his car wound up sideways, perpendicular to the lane. I was only roughly 20 feet behind him, with the nearest car 35 feet behind me (thank god for that), and the first thing I did was brake, felt the anti-lock brakes kick in and the car start to skate down the road.

So I let up on the brake and regain control of the car, BUT this means I am steadily approaching the car in front of me, sideways, blocking the lane. I steer to the right lane, and the act of going in that direction, without the use of gas or brakes, slowed the car down enough and I could brake slightly to stop the car.

My car stopped, halfway in the left and right lane, about a few feet from the car that started this mess. I am so glad that the cars behind me stopped at the peak of the hill, if they had gone down it, there would have been a massive pile-up. I would have been fine, the max speed any car was doing was 15mph, but that's plenty to total my car, my new scion tC.

So my sick ass driving skillz saved my car for another wintry day, and now it's only covered in a thick coat of rock salt.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Skitzo again

Last night was fun....went to fletcher's to see skitzo, then went to this diner in reisterstown afterwards, then drove around, then went home and checked some blogs, then crashed. then i woke up and checked blogs and ate cereal, then went to my nephew's birthday party, then i came back and wrote in my blog and i am writing in my blog now, and in a few minutes i am going to watch the redskins game. Past. Present. Future.

There. I did one of those life update posts. Finally. Are you fucking happy?

Friday, December 17, 2004

Nothing ever happens in Columbia

Well, for the most part. A police helicopter just stopped circling around my neighborhood, it made the circle about 15 times. Looked like it was circling over the Phelps Luck part of Long Reach village. Hmm, I wonder why. I know a couple heroin addicts who live there...lmao

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Skitzo Calypso @ Fletchers tomorrow

Skitzo Calypso is gonna be playing at fletcher's tomorrow at 8:30.

You should be there. No, not you, the person next to you. Yes, you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Damn, that's a lot of lights


Yeah, there's this house in Columbia, no where near mine thank you, that I guess is occupied by the Griswalds. For about the last 20 years they go all out with exterior lumination. It's a little freaky, I mean there is a nativity scene and the baby Jesus doesn't get put out til Christmas Morning, but you can't help but do a drive-by every year.

Here's a shot I purposely took out of focus, I think it looks awesome. If you don't, then you're a (Is anybody here Jewish?) fucking Jew. ;-)

When they started doing this their kids were, um, still kids, but it's amazing how they keep this up year after year, even as their kids move into their mid-twenties. Yeah, those "kids" must still be helping them... or they better be.

That said, one of these years from now, they'll eventually stop this all-out exterior lumination and maybe just have a few bushes lit up, or maybe none at all. That'll be sad. I would say it'll be the day Christmas dies, but with all the rampant commercialization of Christmas we have now, it's already on life support.

What does this look like to you?


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

A Merry Fuckin Jew Christmas

There was once a Jew, a lonely Jew, and when Christmas came, he was even more lonely, and when Christmas went, he was in jail, because he tried to kill santa. (Stick with me here) While this lonely Jew was in jail, he was ass raped by a large white man, no not that white man. This guy wasn't that old. Maybe 30. And he had a big dick. Which hurt this Jew a lot. For this Jew had a small and tight asshole. Oh, did it hurt. Anyway, to make a long story short, because by the look on your faces (Yes, I CAN see you!) you are disgusted with this story, the plot, and the writing quality. And I am disgusted as well. I mean, who wouldn't be disgusted with a Jew getting anal sex on the day after Christmas? Really, that's just wrong. And unnecessary. Well I have to go, for this has been a blog post gone awry. I mean, how could a blog post have gone any more awry? Really, this is just BAD! It all started so innocently, it was supposed to be a HAPPY story about a jew on Christmas! What the fuck happened!

Merry fucking Christmas. Just becareful of those jewish people.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Blade: Trinity and Ocean's 12

This is a pretty decent sequel, but the plot is kind of suspect. And didn't Kris Kristopherson die in Blade II? I'm pretty sure he did, yet he is definitly alive in Blade: Trinity. Did we use an entire different set a writers, writers who did not see the last Blade? What's going on here!!! Anyway, Wesley Snipes is awesome, the action is awesome, Ryan Reynolds is funny as hell, and Jessica Biel, is hot as shit. Maybe I should have said Ryan Reynolds is funny as shit and Jessica Biel is hot as hell... well catch this on HBO or DVD.

Aside from being a little on the long side, this is a very well done sequel. It kept me guessing the whole way through, not to mention it was sold out for a MIDNIGHT (12:10am) SHOW! There's one thing that prevents this from being a great movie, and that envolves Julia Roberts. I will not say what, because it'll spoil it for those who have not had the priviledge of seeing this movie yet. In other words, this movie is just what I expected it to be. See it on the big screen, or wait for DVD and HBO.

The next movie I am seeing is THE LIFE AQUATIC. If any of you know of any early premieres in the Maryland area, please inform me. I really cannot wait til Christmas day.

Blogger Round-Up: Don't worry it only kills weeds

Ever wanted to see Roger Avary's bare foot? No? Well fuck you, I'll show you anyway. It all started when stepped on a hoe (note: not a hooker, the garden tool), and one of the spikes went in his foot 4 inches.

Avram posts something about Michael Jackson.
Dave Barry has some important medical advice, but it doesn't concern him.
Froggie wants to waste all of our time with 38 meaningless questions. *UPDATE* She wants me to mention she lost weight too. Go her!
Fry really needs to blog more.
Jeff Jarvis lapped himself.
Jenna May has an apology. Take it for what it's worth, folks.
Jim wants everybody to know where he stands. What the fuck, motherfucker. What the fuck are you thinking?
Katie made the cut, Matt still hasn't met a celebrity.
Kevin Cupp is still in the process of moving his blog.
Lily has a conversation with a freak.
Mark wants us to hear his voice.
Michele finally finished her ranking of 500 songs.
Oliver Willis has a new Pundette.
Ryan has a hilarious screen capture from the last episode of the Simpsons.
Sam Cook returns to blogging with a full, rainbow-colored announcement. Good for him.
Spidie congratulates people.
Wil Wheaton was on VH1 on December 7th. I missed it.
Yirga posts an answer to that mind-boggling question about the snooze function on alarm clocks.
Zoe is losing weight. Give her encouragement.

Well that's all I care to tell you, bye.

Will the real Bozzy please stand up

Motherfucker! I've got an impersonator!

I also seem to be a shopping site in belgium, and I also provide what you need, when you need it.

Don't look now, but I am a dog.


Need a computer? Bozzy's discount computers is at your service!

This is even better than the time I found I was a hit in Japan, and don't forget to sign my guestbook!

Thursday, December 9, 2004

Wednesday, December 8, 2004

What. The. Fuck.

There is a game called "KILL JFK". How is crap like this allowed?

I am sure that if someone made a game that simulated the killing of President Bush, the secret service wouldn't be too pleased.

If you're a republican and you enjoy this sick game, then you are a hypocrit.

White Christmas possibility: 0%

Looks like Maryland and every other state south of it will be having a Black Christmas again.

HEHEH I MADE RACIAL JOKE!!!!!111one11!!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Hell House

Last night I went with some friends up to Hell House in the village of Ilchester, in Ellicott City, Maryland. It's supposed to be this haunted school which was built in the early 1800s, closed down in 1972, and then mysteriously burned down in 1997. I didn't see any strange events...although thru one of the windows (and keep in mind none of the windows have glass in them) I saw something move, probably the wind moving a branch.

It's still got this creepy ass staircase that's so steep, you'd easily mistake it for the staircase Uma Thurman has to walk up in Kill Bill 2.

Anyway, if you go, don't park right in front of it, under the bridge. Cops will ticket you. Be more creative with your parking. I will not say where I park, I am not stupid.

How does Shooter's Cafe stay in business?

Last night I went to this pool hall called Shooter's Cafe in Lanham, MD. Okay, first off, what's with the cafe name? It's just pool tables.

Secondly, and most-humorously, it cost us $4 to play, which we paid for with 4 $1's, and the guy gave us 7 $1's in change.

How do they stay in business?

Monday, December 6, 2004

BTW, I am no longer a democrat.

BTWFYI, Last week I initiated a change to my voter registration, changing my party afiliation from democrat, to libertarian. I was just looking thru their issues, and agreed with virtually everything. This party has the balls the democrats seem to have misplaced. Now, I will still most likely vote democrat in upcoming elections, but I do give up my right to vote democrat in the primaries, because Maryland is gay with it's closed primaries.


Friday, December 3, 2004

The Day Julia Roberts Flew Southwest Airlines: The 1st in the Buzz Index Series

Once upon a time, Julia Roberts boarded a flight, a Southwest Airlines flight. Why was she boarding this flight, this Southwest Airlines flight you ask? She was flying with big shot CEO of, they were on their way to the premiere of Mary Poppins at the Crystal Palace. "Oh, what a premiere this is going to be", said Ms. Roberts. "Indeed.", said the big shot CEO of

Halfway through the flight, Julia Roberts could not stop going on and on about how she was about to give birth to twins, so the big shot CEO of, decided to to watch some TV. The in-flight movie was "The Princess and the Marine"! "Oh wonderful rapture of wondefulous* rapture", proclaimed the big shot CEO of! This has been his favorite movie ever since his 3 hour affair with Lindsay Lohan!* Which really was only an hour, for it happened on the last Southwest Airlines flight this big shot CEO of flew on, and once you factor in the time zones and Mark Cuban's giant statue of Kim Delaney, it was really only an hour and fifteen minutes.

Anyway, moving right along, Julia Roberts never noticed her new friend, the big shot CEO of was no longer listening to her babble about having twins, and he now had on a pair of headphones that were given to him by Suge Knight at the Source Awards after-party, in which he and Jenna Elfman got into a long, drawn out, philosophical debate about pornography and fruit. It was very juicy*, indeed.

"My God! You're not even listening to me at all!", cried Julia Roberts as she finally noticed her friend, the big shot CEO of wasn't listening to her babble about her having twins. But she soon forgave him, as "The Princess and the Marine" was just ending and her friend, the big shot CEO of put down the headphones given to him by Suge Knight at the Source Awards after-party in which he had that long debate with that Dharma & Greg girl, and actually started listening to this large pregnant actress talk about being pregnant, again.

But then he, the big shot CEO of, immediately thought of cheat codes for The Sims 2, "Aha! Now I can beat the game!" ... "Beat what game?" Asked the large pregnant actress who sometimes goes by the name Julia Roberts. But it was no use, by the time Julia Roberts spoke, the big shot CEO of was already tuning into the Washington Wizards game, on the portable radio he received by winning the Dan Rather-Tom Brokaw bet at work. Just what is this Dan Rather-Tom Brokaw bet? Nobody knows much, except it involved Ole Miss Football and Martina Hingis' bodyguard. Yes, we are intrigued.

At the sight of her new best friend, the big shot CEO of, ignoring her to no end, she got up immediately and exited* the plane. Forgetting that it was still airborne, and the reason why she was even flying to begin with, to see the premiere of Mary Poppins at the Crystal Palace! We believe Julia Roberts' last words were, "Fuck it, this is the last time I ever fly Southwest and listen to Sheryl Crow the night before."

This has been a Yahoo! Buzz Index story. Yahoo! Does not endorse or condone any of the depictions depicted in this story. From what I gather from my own common sense, neither does Julia Roberts, the big shot CEO of, Lindsay Lohan, Mark Cuban, Kim Delaney (or the statue), Suge Knight, Jenna Elfman, the makers of "The Princess and the Marine" and "The Sims 2", Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Martina Hingis, and Sheryl Crow, but Mary Poppins fully endorses the depictions this story depicts.

1. Yes, wonderfulous is not a word, jackass.
2. By the way, there will be an in-dept report by Brian Williams. And he doesn't endorse this either.
3. Yes, I am aware that is a very bad pun and I am evil.
4. Don't worry, we saved the babies.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

HIV, cured. Cancer, you're next, well technically a bigger penis is next, but you're after that.

It worked in mice. It worked in monkeys. And now in humans, a therapeutic vaccine has stopped HIV in its tracks.

The vaccine is made from a patient's own dendritic cells and HIV isolated from the patient's own blood. Dendritic cells are crucial to the immune response. They grab foreign bodies in the blood and present them to other immune cells to trigger powerful immune system responses to destroy the foreign invaders. More...

So go out and fuck a stranger in the ass. Yes, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!