Sunday, June 29, 2003

28 days later

Oh yeah, I saw this today. What's the big deal with this movie? It's made out to be some big scary movie but it is hardly scary at all. It just has a lot of gore and violence. I didn't like it. Lemme count the ways. 1. it was grainy, like it came out of my sony handycam. 2. whatever happened to that thing called plot? this movie didn't really have a plot, besides the epidemic one. There's a lot of questions left unanswered. 3. it's fucking grainy!!!

And consider yourself warned (wish I was warned), there's full frontal male nudity. And I'm not talking about a quick shot of it, it's like right there, in the middle of the screen. Not to be uptight, hey the human body is a great thing, but is that really necessary? Why weren't any of the females given a full frontal shot? Women will never be equal in the entertainment industry.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I'm still here

I haven't blogged in like forever, but I have been doing stuff. Just stuff. Not a liberty to talk about it. Ha, I've always wanted to say that. Boz, what did you have for breakfast? I'm not at liberty to discuss that... and if I was, I wouldn't be privy to that information.

I am still here.

Yeah.

Sunday, June 22, 2003

GIRLS GONE WILD!!

If you're happy and you know it, punch Bill O'Reilly then watch girls gone wild.

Subconcsious with Bill O'Reilly

I had the most fucked up dream last night. I dreamt that Bill O'Reilly saw my entry about him, and included my blog url in one of his lame "talking points memos" on his site, and I was getting an uber amount of hate mail from republican morons, then Bill O'Reilly and someone else who agreed with him got me cornered in a hallway and forced me to debate them...but they kept cutting me off and telling me to "shut up" before I could even say anything...hmm...I wonder where that came from? They don't do that in real life. LMAO.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Girls Gone Wild

Okay, that has nothing to do with this entry. Wait wait, come back, ah, how can I compete with half naked college chicks?

Anyway, I put up two new features in my world: MTAmazon plugin and got my very own amazon shop thanks to associates shop! It's real swell and hunky dory.

Yes, the real reason why I titled this Girls Gone Wild is that the title determines what the related amazon dvd is...that and the few extra hundred google hits I'll get.

The Hulk

Okay first off, I don't like comic books. Never have. I have a few, got them as gifts (well more like here james, take this magazine-esque book), but never read them. I liked Tim Burton's Batman, and the superman movies were okay. I could not care less about Spider Man, X-men, or even Spawn. But there was something I always liked about the Hulk...and again, I never read the comic book, I just like how it's like a modern King Kong story.

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

Monday, June 16, 2003

No Crybaby Zone

Bill O'reilly: The internet is stupid because people say bad things about me, therefore the first amendment is stupid.

So all over the country, we have people posting the most vile stuff imaginable, hiding behind high tech capabilities.† Sometimes the violators are punished, but most are not.† We have now have teenagers ruining the reputations of their peers in schools on the Internet.† Ideologues accusing public officials of the worst things imaginable.† And creeps gossiping about celebrities in the crudest of ways.


Being an American, I have no clue what the hell is wrong with that.

Hey bill, grow the fuck up. People don't have to like you. And they can even voice their opinion about you in public.

Trees: off limits too

redneck-bush.jpg

Yeah, this is a called a-photo-that-isn't-yours-blog.

ATTN: Rednecks

redneck-seal.jpg

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Alright, who's the one who gave him the knife?

Farmer cuts off fingers in act of hallucination
"I was cutting this beef apart and it was a horrendous job to just hack it apart. Finally another fella said, 'I've got a hand and an arm for you' and he gave me that,' " he recalled.

"I decided I was going to cut the two fingers off that borrowed hand. I was cutting the fingers on my own hand there was no doubt about it. There's no doubt that the hallucination was a big assistance to getting this job done."

Fight over septic tank ends in death

Wait, lemme repeat that. Because it deems repeating. Fight over septic tank-- where your shit goes-- ends in death. Okay.

According to investigators, Landreth accused Rogers of parking his truck on Landreth's septic tank.


Oh, this also involves a truck. Well now, that explains everything. *sarcasm detected*

top 10 phrases women don't say

10. My name's forrest, forrest gu-mp.
9. Hey, I thought I ordered sex with my fruit loops...
8. How much wood could a woodchuck smack if a woodchuck could masturbate?
7. Hoo-hah!
6. Does my beer gut show thru my shirt?
5. Honey, do you notice a bulge in my pants?
4. My pussy talks to me.
3. I could go for a big ol' circle jerk right now...
2. Pass me another 16 shots of tequilla, honey. I'm drinkin' for two here.
1. I love men.

*These may suck, because I wrote them. Feel free to post them on your own blogs but please give me credit with a link back.

Saturday, June 14, 2003

I want to marry a Kennedy

Yeah, that would be cool. And not a Skakel, a real kennedy! There's gotta be some my age! This would be so cool. Arnold did it. Why can't I? Okay there are a lot of things Arnold has done that I cannot do. But still, he married a kennedy, I could do that!!

Dumb & Dumberer

I'll save you the trip to the bathroom by not using the phrase that every other reviewer used about this movie. You know the one. Yes, this movie is bad, but it's not as bad as the original. Yes folks, the sequel (well prequel...) is actually better this time.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Hydroplaning!

Yup, that's what happened to me driving home just now!! I was entering broken land parkway from route 29, and all of a sudden it's like my car is just floating. It's fucking scary. Scary as hell. But my mad driving schools came to the rescue. So kids, what do you do in this situation?

1. Remain CALM. Do not panic. You don't want to jerk the wheel and wind up flipping the car over.
2. Get off the gas and do NOT break. Not at all.
3. During all this, do not move the steering wheel at all, keep the wheels going straight, if you're on a bend in the road, make the minimal movements to do the curve. You don't want to start fish-tailing.
4. Piss your pants.
5. Go have some pie.

That's it for today kids, class dismissed.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

DAMN RUBBERNECKERS!

I was driving to work today and traffic on route 29 was going normally until about a minute after entering it, then it was stop 'n' go. "Oh, a car accident. Joy." or "Fucking construction!" could have come out of my mouth. In fact, I'd be lying to you if I said they didn't. So traffic is creeping along, stopping and going, going and stopping, all the time making me impatient. After awhile I got to thinkin, "we've had to have passed the "construction" or "car accident" by now...then to my surprise, it was just a cop with his sirens on that had pulled someone over. THERE WAS NO SIGNS OF CONSTRUCTION OR AN ACCIDENT!!! COME THE FUCK ON!!!!

To the jackass who started the rubbernecking: Was that really necessary to slow a good 150 cars to a crawl? And by crawl, I mean about 5 miles per hour. Convert that to kilometers per hour, I don't care, just don't do that ever again.

Rubberneckers fucking suck.
(with apologies to those with actual rubber necks, gotta be hell man)

Monday, June 9, 2003

Does money = happiness?

No, of course not, silly. Money = sex, which to some people may in turn equal happiness. See, most women are attracted to money, hence why people like Bill Gates get married. Come on, you tryin to tell me that some girl is actually attracted to a squeeky little rich voice? What you talkin about Willis!

in da iTunes: Spin Doctors - Two Princes

related quote: "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" -kevin cupp

Saturday, June 7, 2003

This pisses me off

Don't you hate it when people say something of yours is messed up but then they disappear and don't go into specifics, as if I am supposed to magically read their mind?

Friday, June 6, 2003

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Wrong Turn

This is a classic horror film. It's starts out innocently...not. Okay, the basic plot is: traffic backup, dirt road, do they have collision insurrance, missing teeth, inbred home, running for their lives from screaming inbred rednecks...I hope that's understandable. There isn't really anything bad I can say about this. It delivers what it advertises. It's suspensful, gross, suspensful, and gross. _Not_ _for_ _the_ _squimish_. Actually there is one thing, as soon as we met all the main characters, I knew instantly who was going to die. All the whining crybabies. The two that were tough, made it. I won't say names, don't want to spoil anything, but you should see it clearly like I did. Now, going in, I didn't expect it to be great in the plot department, so I won't knock off too many points for that, and I will say that it did follow the "rules" of the horror film and there's never a dull moment. So see this if you dare...or have a hardon for Eliza Dushku.

laugh at my joke please

how many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wednesday, June 4, 2003

To do list for life

-Travel the world(s)
-Carnival.
-Two chicks at the same time. *Office Space reference*
-Marry a rich girl. (could be affected by number 3)
-Get in the Guiness Book of World Records...somehow.
-Go to mars. Get more candybars.
-Murder a tyrant, but not rape, that would be wrong.
-Go to Jupiter...Florida.
-Three chicks at the same time.
-Learn to read.
-Have an angry gumball.
-Kill the FOX executive who canceled The Critic and Family Guy, perhaps I will get lucky and it'll be the same executive who also canceled Titus.
-5 chicks at the same time.
-Maim a spelling bee.

Yeah.

Tuesday, June 3, 2003

Angry Gumball?

Ok this is weird...I've suddenly remembered something from a commerical but I can't think of anything else...I just keep repeating the phrase "I'm an angry gumball" in my head...I think it's a song in the commerical, but what commercial is it?!? HELP!!!!!

The ad wizards who came up with this one should be shot. Or just laid off. I'm supposed to be able to remember the product.

Sunday, June 1, 2003

Blogs Outranking Big Media on Google


If you really want to know, ask a blogger
First, there is the contempt for 'amateur' writers, endemic in professional journalism. Hacks are always astonished by anyone who writes for no pay, so upwards of half a million such amateurs now publishing blogs leaves the pros speechless. It also leads them to deride blogs as an epidemic of vanity publishing rather than the glorious outbreak of free expression it actually represents.

Second is the assumption that anything written by an amateur is, by definition, worthless. Yet journalism has always been, as Northcliffe observed, 'the art of explaining to others that which one does not oneself understand'.

In fact, when it comes to many topics in which I have a professional interest, I would sooner pay attention to particular blogs than to anything published in Big Media - including the venerable New York Times. This is not necessarily because journalists are idiots; it's just that serious subjects are complicated and hacks have neither the training nor the time to reach a sophisticated understanding of them - which is why much journalistic coverage is inevitably superficial and often misleading, and why so many blogs are thoughtful and accurate by comparison.

Third, there is the problem - not often touched upon in the New York Times, by the way - that many controversial public issues are ignored by Big Media for the simple reason that the ideological and commercial interests of their proprietors preclude it.


Yeah, I have always noticed this. Most newspaper sites don't keep their archives public, and some (the NY Times to be specific) don't even allow any of their articles to be public, you gotta pay for it.

Blogs are outranking Big Media on google for the simple fact that blogs are an ever growing pit of text, which makes for easy searching.

Big Media better wake the fuck up before people start unsubscribing to them.

Got my 2nd degree!

And I did good, despite the feeling that the whole process was a little, shall I say, "rushed". I got the equivilant of one A and all B's, it's scored on a ranking of 1 to 5, 5 being the best, and I got one 5 and all 4's. Apparently, that warranted me getting chewed out by the grandmaster in front of tons of people...I have never seen him that negative, it was ugly. And it wasn't just directed at me, the first degree candidates and the other 2nd degree candidates were on the recieving end. He just seemed really negative, I mean, I know he cares and want's us all to do our best, but humilation in front of a crowd is wrong. And I am not trying to be disrespectful in saying that.