Tuesday, December 31, 2002

So long 20-02, bring on 20-03!

I am ringing in the new year chatting online while having some of Mike's Hard Lemonade...not sure what Mike puts in it, but he says this (no joke, on the bottle), "10 lemmons went into a room, and only three came out." He's mysterious like that....hmm maybe if I keep this up, I'll get since free hard lemonade for all my pimping...it's worth a shot...but this shit is hard to drink (no pun intended), it's so fucking strong, and I ain't using shot glasses. I always drink out of the bottle.

Anyhoo, happy new year, may you not be too hung over later today, and please, try to get off work for the rest of the week!

toodleloodleloo

Monday, December 30, 2002

Best Films of 2002

HONORABLE MENTION: LOTR: The Two Towers, 8 Mile, Equilibrium, S1m0ne, Bloodwork, Panic Room, Punch-Drunk Love, Minority Report, The Bourne Identity, Blue Crush, and Queen of the Damned.

Now, the starting lineup...

10. THE RING - This has to be one of the most scariest movies in a real long time, and was still scary when I saw it a second time.

9. GANGS OF NEW YORK - It's time to stop ripping Leo DiCaprio. Just stop, it's no longer funny. The man can act.

8. MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING - It played for 33+ weeks. That's simply astonishing giving that most movies disappear by the 5th week. It's a nice change of pace for the comedy genre.

7. RESIDENT EVIL - Go ahead, laugh. This movie rocked, no longer can we say that there hasn't been a good movie that's based on a video game.

6. FRAILTY - Welcome to directing, Bill Paxton! This film was downright creepy at times and the acting was always top notch.

5. WE WERE SOLDIERS - This is a great war epic, but that's not why it's up here, it's up here because it doesn't glamorize war. Finally, the truth about war! War is hell.

4. BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE - This is the most the influencial movie I have ever seen, kudos to Michael Moore for having the courage to make this film.

3. THE RULES OF ATTRACTION - What can I say, the movie had some bad-ass editing (props to Sharon Rutter), and really depicted college life well, well at least the colleges that Roger Avary heard of! Seriously, there isn't a dull moment in this flick.

2. CATCH ME IF YOU CAN - Spielberg can do anything he wants, and then add Tom Hanks and Leo DiCaprio into the equation. Mind boggling.

and the best film of the year goes to

1. ROAD TO PERDITION - See above remark about Tom Hanks.

now, for the worst, but I don't want to show it unless you really really really want to see it...

Thursday, December 26, 2002

Catch Me If You Can

[insert catchy pun of the movie's title]: from this point on, I will never ridicule Leo DiCaprio, ever again. He has been pardoned from my wrath of him being associated with a movie called "The Beach". I had the priviledge to see his brilliant performance in "Gangs of New York" last weekend, and not even a week later, I get to see another. He could (and should) be nomimated for Best Actor twice at the Oscars. But let's forget about him for a second and talk about The Man.

[see the rest of the review or go straight to popkornjunkie.com]

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Can anybody answer this?

Why in the hell are those narrow baloons so hard to inflate? The balloons I speak of are those balloons that clowns or other people use to make things with, you know what I mean?

Last Sunday, when I was at my sisters, nobody could blow them up! A few were blown up by my brother in law before the party, but the ones we (me, my dad, my brothers, my mom) tried to inflate during the party were impossible. I wish I had a camera, because people (yes me) produce funny faces when trying to blow those skinny baloons up.

And yes, we were stretching them beforehand.

Bumper Car christmas!

No, I didn't go to an amusement park! I left for my aunt & uncles house at like 11:55 or something, and the roads were horrible! Driving in snow is a pain in the ass. I was going only 5 MPH and I still couldn't make a right turn...my car just started floating, so I turned the steering wheel back to go straight, but I wound up just running into the opposite curb...geez, no damage to my car and the road was empty...except for a car about 20 feet behind me, who probably was either laughing his/her ass off, or scared shitless that they'd do the same thing. So :sam:, rain driving is NOTHING! Even at night! Neither of those compare to snow driving. Merry Christmas...where's the tylenol?

Monday, December 23, 2002

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE! NOW WATCH ME CIRCUMSIZE A RAT

hey! everybody go give props to :michael: for making that HOT new title graphic (look up!). The previous one was done by paul if you didn't know...and the one before that was done by :kevin:, just to let you know.

well, it's christmas eve, so I hope I am the first blogger to say HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE! NOW WATCH ME CIRCUMSIZE A RAT! Nobody's gonna come close to saying that, ha! :)

Hey, watch me get all sorts of nasty google hits that involve the 3 letter word in the middle of big word up there that starts with C. I didn't want to say it again. haha

anyhoo, give props to mike.

I just got back from picking up my friends from work...and they actually paid me...that was a real shocker. lol (20 bucks; if you want to rob me)

toodleloo

Saturday, December 21, 2002

Gangs of New York

This could quite possibily be Martin Scorcesse's masterpeice, and even tho that is very hard to realize given all the quality films he has created, it is rightfully so that Gangs of New York is his masterpeice as he has spent nearly 2 decades working on it. The movie isn't perfect, but rarely are movies ever. The beginning and beginning of the middle is a little slow, but it picks up right there and becomes a very good political picture. The acting in this is marvelous. Daniel Day-Lewis is perfect as "The Butcher" and Leo DiCaprio, takes away all of my urges to make fun of him for being in a film called "The Beach" with his performance. And to think, he's in another big motion picture next weekend! Jim Broadbent, John C. Reilly also shine...Cameron Diaz, whom I am not very fond of (except for the good looks, hehe) also outdoes herself. In other words, Gangs of New York is a great film that should be required viewing material in public high schools, joining "Bowling for Columbine", and "American History X", to name a few.

Now what pisses me off is that the big fat asses with their cigars, up in Hollywood, thought it would be good idea to release this movie in the same weekend as LOTR, even when no big movies opened last week, or the weekend after New Years (next weekend is Catch me if you can, so skip to the next weekend), wtf fat asses?

Okay, I'm out. Play nice.

Friday, December 20, 2002

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Just got back from seeing this. It's TONS better than Fellowship, but I don't feel like saying anything about it right now. I don't want to do anything right now. Check back later for an update to this entry.

UPDATE...9:11pm

Okay, I still don't feel like writing a review. Just go see it. There's quite some humor in it too...oh yeh, how the hell did they (the filmmakers) make John Rhyes-Davies so short? That guy looked tall in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and Sliders! lol

one more thing...not really a spoiler but you should see the movie first

UPDATE...12/21 9:34pm

Okay, so I typed up a mini review for popkornjunkie.com, so here it is:

I don't want to say much, because quite simply, there's so much hype about this film that nobody really cares what _I_ think, so I will just cut to the chase and say that I thoroughly enjoyed this film, I think it's TONS better than Fellowship ever could be. I got bored watching Fellowship (yes, even in the theater), and that never happened with the Towers. The humor is better, the action is better, the photography and editing is just as great, and the movie gets 4 pops from me. If you remember, or check out the review on this site for the original, I only gave it 2.5 pops, because I wasn't the only person who got bored...but far less people are getting bored this go 'round.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

Equilibrium

I just got back from seeing "Equilibrium", and I need to see it again. If you don't recall, just last saturday I tried to see this movie but the theater was mobbed so I had to go to my local theater and see some tried comedy (analyze that), boy oh boy, had I seen Equilibrium then, I still would have seen it now. It IS that good. There's some sick special effects. I mean, this movie is BEYOND John Woo. His heart has been eaten out (lol). The main stars in the film are Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, and William Fichtner, and they all gave wonderful performances. I don't want to get into the specs, because I knew nothing about this film (except who starred in it), and that is how I want you to experience it, but I will say this, come Oscar time, this movie better fucking win for best editing. If it doesn't, um well, then there is no God. (lol)

Again, thank you, Mom!

I just woke up and I found this waiting for me in my inbox, it's hilarious!


Many of you have wondered why a computer crashes. It is usually very technical but maybe this will help.

Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash

(Read this to yourself aloud - it's GREAT!)

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall .... and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!


This just makes my day. :)

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

I cannot fucking sleep

I layed in bed for about an hour, then got up and went to the kitchen and had some pie (blueberry). I thought would blog for a bit til i get tired then go back to sleep, yeah I am gonna do that...doh I am doing that now....gee golly princess catsup, maybe I should really be in bed.....I dunno prince galabaloooo maybe you should stay up...WTF did I just write? I am so out of it right now its not even funny, but if you wanna laugh at me, go ahead. I need to go poop.

oh yeh and one more thing...

UPDATE 10:30am

Note to self, never make an entry that late at night. I hardly remember writing that!! I think I was half asleep when I got up to go eat something...lmao

Sunday, December 15, 2002

100 Questions about me

Didn't I alreay do this? No, wait, that was 100 things about me, this is 100 questions...

I've never done one of these, but here we are...

1. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie.

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?

no.

3. Have you ever written a song?

no, I haven't. maybe I should...

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?

Depends, I may have quarters lying somewhere around my room...

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?

Too many times...

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?

One word: WHY?!

7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries?

Hell yes, I'll put ketchup on anything! Especially scrambled eggs!

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?

No, but I can do something else that is special with my tongue.

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?

No, those things are stupid...except for the cookies.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror?

Yes.

Via :zoe:

for the other 90, click below.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

Analyze that

I went to see this by accident, I originally drove down to Arundel Mills to see "Equilibrium", but after trying for what seemed like an eternity (like 15-20 minutes) I found a parking spot, 15 minutes before showtime. So I get to the ticket line, and it's a mile long. So I got back in my car and headed back towards Columbia...and went to see Analyze That, which wasn't really that bad. Sure, the plot was totally meaningless and the humor was forced at times, but there are still plenty of hilarious scenes, so I can't give this movie a bad review. It could have used without Joe Torre, and what about Lisa Kudrow? Her role was a joke. Give her more lines! But again, it was a blast to sit back and watch Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro act, they have such great chemistry. So if you wanna see a comedy, bypass that Rob Schnieder flick and see humor that doesn't involve stupid physical comedy, see this movie.

Well I'm gonna go watch SNL and then fall asleep, I gotta wake up early tomorrow!

oh yeah and go check out this and other reviews @ popkornjunkie.com!

Thursday, December 12, 2002

This is hilarious!

I saw this old the Onion story over at wil wheaton's blog...


Shit Parking Ticket Fuck
FUCKIN’ DOWNTOWN—After stopping for like 10 goddamn minutes at the west-side post office, local resident Dave Shore got a motherfucking parking ticket in the amount of 35 fucking goddamn dollars Monday, fuck. Where were the goddamn cops when the dude stole the hubcaps off of Shore’s light brown 1992 Escort last year, the 27-year-old line cook would reportedly like to fucking know. The ticket, which Shore will have to work five whole fucking hours at his shitty fucking job just to pay, was placed on his vehicle by the asshole fucking Nazi parking patrol shortly after noon. Jesus fuck.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Blogging a passing fad?

Kevin and Sam seem to think so, along with some other people, but I have to agree with :scott:, people have kept journals for ages, and so what if you can't think of something funny to say or you just don't have time to let people know what's going on, the point of the blog is to be personal, ie, if somebody (marshall) only likes to blog occasionly (once a month, if that), let 'em! But his blog is still there waiting to be updated about his exciting life. I'd think you were pretty sad if you managed your life around recording in your online journal, things like this should never take over your life, but they should be there, for times when you need to vent, get something off your chest, or just tell about your day.

I prefer reading blogs that are about day to day occurances rather than just short stories... avary.com is a great example of what I like. :sam:'s been doing this as well, I wish Kevin would do this more, but again, blogs are personal, and represent what a person likes, so I don't care what he chooses to do with it...unless he decides to take it down, then he can burn in hell! ;)

Well it's 2:42 am and I am strangely not tired, I have been tired a lot lately and haven't stayed up past midnight...well not in my bed...but I am gonna go to bed anyway, my mom is making me let her borrow 50 bucks tomorrow and she knows I am broke...so I guess I should hope to have a nice dream about sex...or ponies...hmmm....the possibilities...

I'll probably revisit this entry tomorrow to offer any new insights into blogging...

til next time, live long, comment, and prosper!

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Where do those letters go anyway?

I found this santa letter via this site, I think it was funny. But what was with the John Ashcroft comment that kid made?!?!? It's a shame some parents teach their kids to look up to people like that....tsk tsk...

Monday, December 9, 2002

How is your mental health today?

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are dellusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96869526379796.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you are psychotic, stab the 9 button. It deserves it.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang-up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

via :scott:

Sunday, December 1, 2002

Get a load of this!

me: oh zoe, my sister said that one of her friends had a new baby, named emma, then said that her other two kids are named Jacob and Zoe
:zoe:: cool
me: then later my mom was playing with her grandchildren and one picked up a stuffed animal frog, and my mom called it :froggie:! i thought of both of you then! it was weird!
:michael:: lol
:zoe:: when i have a little girl her name will be Zoe , but ya'll knew that already

So I thought of fellow bloggers today! :)

haha, you can't be mad!

I took the recycling out and walked the dogs! So there! Now you have nothing to do but smile back and say something great then we go out for ice cream. i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice scream!!!!

okay, that's enough.